Tainted
by Because I Can and Will
Summary: Athelstan goes into town to get some things for Ragnar one day, but while there the other members of Ragnar's crew recognize him and decide to take advantage of the lone slave. Ragnar rescues him, but Athelstan is badly shaken and hurt. Warnings: Abuse and Rape One-shot


Disclaimer: I own nothing. The characters should pray for their good fortune.

Title: Tainted

Summary: Athelstan goes into town to get some things for Ragnar one day, but while there the other members of Ragnar's crew recognize him and decide to take advantage of the lone slave. Ragnar rescues him, but Athelstan is badly shaken and hurt. Warnings: Abuse and Rape

Author's Note- I felt that the relationship between Athelstan and Ragnar developed quickly and wanted to write something that would push them to bond. Also I read that it was not unusual for Vikings to rape their captured or defeated enemies no matter the gender.

~[~ (Athelstan's POV)

Athelstan hated being stuck in the Pagan society and it all felt so foreign and immoral to him. He still couldn't believe that Ragnar had asked him to have sex with him and his wife, and he shivered at the unpleasant thought. He prayed silently asking God for forgiveness for having the thought re-cross his mind. He shrunk away as he heard noise in the nearby tavern as men fought and drank excessively.

Ragnar had sent him into town to pick up a few tools for the farm, and despite his apprehension about travelling alone he reluctantly went. He had joked with Ragnar that if he went there was no guarantee that he would return, but all he received was an eye roll and a short laugh in return. He no longer longed to escape despite his discontent here, and he had passed up the chance for freedom that Ragnar had given him. He still entertained the thought though now and then, especially when he was homesick for England, or saw violent treatment bestowed upon other slaves. That was one thing he was eternally grateful for, that he was treated well by Ragnar and his family. They kept him busy, but were never cruel to him, and Ragnar's daughter Gyda seemed especially fond of him. Sometimes she would sneak him special treats that they would share together and she would ask him to tell her stories about England. Bjorn, her brother, on the other hand barely tolerated him, but Ragnar always disciplined him when his comments were out of line.

He was so lost in his musings that he did not notice Ragnar's crewmen coming out of the tavern. They were all staring at him and some of them were laughing. He tried to turn and walk away quickly but some of them managed to catch up to him and cut him off. They had him surrounded and he was quickly growing fearful, memories of the cruel treatment of other slaves fresh in his mind. He did not know their names, only their faces which did not look very inviting at the moment.

One walked up behind him and put a large hand on his shoulder, causing him to jump a bit resulting in more amused laughter. He took a quick look around then and noticed there were five men. "Aw, look he is like a startled child, all alone and afraid of the dark." One spoke laughing cruelly.

Another addressed him mockingly. "So priest, it appears that Ragnar has finally decided to trust you and let you roam around all on your own. Not exactly the best choice for any master to make, that is unless they don't particularly care about their slaves." A cold shiver ran down his spine then and his eyes went wide as his body froze.

The one that was holding him then tightened his grip asking "What should we do with him then?" He could see the smiles that adorned their faces and was considering what he should do.

"I can think of a few things." One was grinning at him and reached forward to help the other one drag him toward the tavern where they had come from.

He panicked then and began to struggle against them. "Please, I just need to get some things for Ragnar, he…"

They punched him in the gut silencing him and stopping his struggling for a moment as he recovered. They dragged him into the tavern and toward the back, no doubt where there would be private rooms for them to abuse him how they pleased. He was surprised that they were taking such precautions since usually slaves were tormented wherever they were caught, occasionally right in the middle of the street. He began to struggle again as a Viking tossed a coin to the tavern keeper who admired it appreciatively before sliding a key back.

They had dragged him into the room before pushing him forward and closing the door. He was unsure if they locked it or not, and if he could manage to get around them he was going to try to open it just in case. The men snickered and whispered to themselves so he could not hear them. He backed up against the far wall assessing his surroundings and looking for any way to escape. He paled as they started to head for him and several of them were grabbing him pinning him to the bed before he could even react. He struggled then, but that only resulted in a violent beating. Even after his struggles ceased the blows kept coming and he began to whimper with each new hit. Finally they stopped and he took a moment to breathe.

However, his moment of relief was replaced by horror a moment later when something was forced in his mouth and down his throat. His eyes flung open and he was greeted with the sight of a nearly naked man shoving his dick where it did not belong. He tried to couch and dislodge the disgusting appendage but after a few more blows he was too tired to fight and allowed the assault to continue. He was so ashamed and silently prayed for forgiveness during the entire ordeal.

Another man replaces the first soon, and he felt very sick. He swore that he felt bile rising in his throat and did his best to keep it down. However, another horror quickly possessed him as he felt his pants being yanked down and the men that were holding him tighten their grip. He couldn't move or try to get away as he felt another man probing at his entrance. This was past his comprehension and he felt numb as fingers entered his previously untouched body. Then the thought hit him that he was no longer pure, but rather a dirty being, one that the men were using as a whore. That was enough to distract him until he felt someone enter him swiftly. The pain at being taken so forcefully was indescribable and he tried to scream but it came out muffled since his mouth was still being used. Tears pricked at his eyes and he was sure blood was running down his leg now. He continued to cry as the assault went on and the men changed places.

~[~ (Ragnar's POV)

It was getting late and Ragnar was growing impatient. He needed the tools that Athelstan was sent to fetch, and he was beginning to wonder if his slave was only joking earlier when he spoke of running away. However, he had offered him the chance to leave before and Athelstan had passed it up. Either way he would need to go into town himself to get the supplies and hopefully find his slave.

The walk to town wasn't that far and Ragnar made haste so that he could get back before dark. When he arrived he noticed that the tavern was filling and men were flocking after the women and slaves. He quickly made it to the blacksmiths shop to pick up the few tools he needed. They were light and Athelstan would have had no trouble carrying them, however the blacksmith remarked that his slave had been never shown up. This worried Ragnar who quickly placed the tools in his bag and wondered off to see if anyone had seen his slave.

He asked a few people he knew as they passed by but none of them were able to help him. He was beginning to think that his slave had decided to bolt with the money he had given him earlier to pay the blacksmith. He entered the tavern to see if he could find any news there. Upon arrival one of his acquaintances greeted him warmly and informed him that his crew was currently busy with his slave. Ragnar panicked then and after thanking the man for his help rushed up to the counter and asked the keeper if he had seen his crew. The man told him that they were in one of the back rooms, but that they were busy at the moment.

Ragnar was angry now and rushed through the door despite the man's protests. He began knocking on several of the doors and disturbed a few people before he found the room he needed. He kicked the door down when no one answered and surprised all the occupants inside. All of his crewmen froze and he could see the fear on their faces. He could also see the pain that Athelstan was in from his slumped position that the men were forcing him in. Several were standing off to the side as if they were awaiting their turn to take the priest, and two were occupying the man's body. They were holding him up on his knees with his ass in the air and head pushed down.

Ragnar seethed and started screaming at them, grateful that at least Floki and his brother were not involved in this. He yelled at them for touching his property and hurting his slave, and when they asked him why he cared he yelled at them louder. After a few moments they got scared and re-dressed before bolting through the door. He would have pursued them if Athelstan didn't look so bad and in need of medical attention.

The priest lay where he was dropped on the bed whimpering, not moving aside from the shallow movement of his chest. Ragnar spoke in soothing tones as he assessed the damage the priest had suffered, and after seeing how badly he was bleeding from several different wounds he quickly dressed him, lifted him, and ran home.

~[~ (Athelstan's POV)

He was in so much pain but the men kept going, and he was sure that they had all already used him once. He couldn't hold himself up anymore and the position was extremely painful for him. The men were manipulating his body however they pleased and being twisted into many awkward positions made his muscles cramp. He knew that several of his wounds were bleeding from the beatings and the other abuse, but he was too weak to fight.

Suddenly the men stopped and he heard familiar yelling, though to him it sounded so far away that he couldn't tell what was happening. The men released his body and he fell down in a heap, not even attempting to move. After a moment he felt another person touching him, but these hands felt gentler than the previous ones, and he briefly wondered if he had died. However, he was sure that he would not be in so much pain if he had truly reached heaven, and so he gave up that notion quickly. He went in and out of consciousness after that, though he felt as though someone was carrying him.

~[~ (Lagertha's POV)

Lagertha had been cooking and now that everything was made and set out it was time to eat. However, her husband was not here yet, which she thought was strange. After all he had just been headed downtown and said he would be right back. She could tell that her children were worried and she was beginning to feel a bit on edge herself. She decided to start eating without him for the time being and hoped that he and Athelstan, who was also strangely absent, would return soon.

After a few bites she heard frantic knocking at the door. She told the children to stay in the kitchen and eat while she handled the situation. She was surprised to open the door and see her frantic husband carrying the obviously injured slave into the house and to Athelstan's bed. She followed quickly and when the children came near she sent them back into the kitchen. She got the things Ragnar requested and helped him bandage the wounds and stop the bleeding as best she could. She also worked on producing some of her special medicine that helped ease pain for him to take when he awoke.

Athelstan continued sleeping, and she hoped that it was peaceful. Her husband narrated to her what he knew, but that was not much. He was planning on going back to town to talk to the men who had assaulted Athelstan and she wished she could accompany him. One crime she would not tolerate was rape, no matter who the victim was. He left shortly after he had a quick meal and she knew that there was going to be some sorry people tonight.

While Ragnar was gone she continued to tend to the priest and make sure he wasn't coming down with a fever or reopening his wounds. He stayed in the same position for the most part, typically whining if he moved, and she felt sorry for him. She had to tell the children that some of the men their father knew had hurt Athelstan and that he would need to rest for a few days. Gyda was worried and Biorn was not happy that more chores would have to be done, but he grumbled mostly to himself.

Ragnar returned and seemed satisfied later in the evening and so she asked him what happened. He detailed to her how he thoroughly beat the men who had defiled his slave and that this would never happen again. She was satisfied with that answer so they all went to bed after checking on the priest one last time.

~[~ (Athelstan's POV)

He felt incredibly sore as he awoke and groaned as the pain coursed throughout his body. He didn't want to wake up now as everything came back to him, as he realized that it wasn't just a cruel nightmare. However, he knew at the same time that Ragnar would need his help on the farm and so he forced his eyes open. He looked around and took in his surroundings, surprised to find himself back in his bed at Ragnar's house. At first he began to wonder if he was hallucinating since the pain is his body contrasted with this safe environment.

It was then that he noticed Lagertha's head peering around the corner. He averted his eyes quickly and tried to sit up, but was confused when she quickly made her way over to him.

"I wouldn't suggest moving around too much for the next few days, and I need to check your wounds if you're feeling up to it. Also, I made soup for lunch, and I'm sure you're hungry." She was smiling and speaking gently to him. He didn't understand her sometimes; despite her being a fierce warrior she was able to switch back to her mothering nature when she wanted.

He stared at the ceiling attempting to find his voice, and when he answered he found that his throat was sore. "Thank you, but I'm fine really."

She laughed but Gyda had already brought him a bowl and she placed it in her mother's hands. Gyda looked at him worriedly and he tried to offer her a small smile, but she didn't seem convinced. Fortunately, Lagertha asked her to go feed the chickens and tell her father something so he was able to avoid an awkward conversation.

Then Lagertha came over to him and helped him sit up, propping up his pillows for support. She gave him the bowl full of soup that smelled delicious, and despite his slightly sick disposition he made an effort to eat. At first she just sat down on his bed and watched him, but soon she moved her hand to began stroking his hair. It startled him but he was able to keep calm and continue eating. The hair petting was helpful in distracting him from the sick feeling in his stomach but after about half the soup was eaten he could not handle it anymore. He set the bowl on the small table near his bed and leaned back when he was overtaken by dizziness.

Lagertha's hand moved down to the base of his neck, and then to his back where she rubbed small circles. He was trying to adjust to the attention but the monks had never been physical people and after the abuse he suffered he was unsure if he could handle it. She spoke again softly and rested her hand behind him much to his relief. "I thought you might not feel up to eating, but at least you managed some of it. I mixed in a few herbs that should help with the pain and your healing process. I still need to check your wounds though." He closed his eyes as she gently began to remove his shirt and then the bandages around his chest.

After she had finished rewrapping the wounds on his chest, which he had peaked at to find large bruises and several nasty cuts, Ragnar entered looking apprehensive. He glanced at his wife but then made direct eye contact with Athelstan and the priest could see that he was searching for something. The intense gaze made him feel uncomfortable so he looked away quickly and folded his hands in his lap. Ragnar spoke then in a softer tone that helped ease him a bit. "I dealt with those who attacked you and made sure that they know better than to try anything like that ever again, so you are safe now."

Athelstan then recalled how strange it was that Ragnar was defending him after the men told him it was unlikely that his master cared for him. "It's alright I understand." He mumbled quickly and received a puzzled look in return.

Ragnar seemed confused for a moment before letting it go and coming over closer to help his wife. Ragnar disappeared when she was helping him redress and returned with a tankard of ale that he thrust to the priest. "Best pain medicine you could ask for, drink up." He seemed so happy with the idea, but Athelstan felt apprehensive about becoming intoxicated right now because he knew how vulnerable it made people. Still Ragnar was persistent so he hesitantly started to drink. "It's great isn't it. In no time you will feel much more at ease. For now though you need to drink and rest since you are in no condition to do much else, so if you are in need of a refill just let one of us know."

After he finished the drink he did feel odd and so he lay down on his side. Lagertha was more than happy to help him get comfortable and go to sleep. However, his peace did not last as it seemed Ragnar's idea of pain relief was constant consummation of alcohol and he was never able to tolerate high amounts. He threw up for the rest of the night and with all his previous injuries it only made things worse. At first Ragnar joked with him, but soon he became serious and it was obvious that he was sorry. When Athelstan was finally done puking he shakily laid down resting, grateful for Gyda who was sitting next to him just chatting about their gods and some of the stories she had learned. It helped distract him as he fell asleep.

The next day though when the shock and dizziness wore off he felt conflicted about everything that had happened. He was upset, scared, and angry. He felt as though god had deserted him and allowed all these terrible things to happen to him. Yet now he felt unworthy to even call upon god and ask him for forgiveness because he was no longer pure. Losing his virginity, especially in such a violent way, violated the vows he had taken when he became a monk, and so he felt more distant from god than ever. He was grateful for the break Ragnar was offering him to recover and the care that him and his wife were giving him, but he had just been sitting on his bed with his bible all day, unable to force himself to open it.

He had slept until nearly lunch yet again, and when he awoke Lagertha had tended to his wounds and even rubbed a special cream she had concocted on them to help ease the pain. The cream had a strange scent to it, but it also provided a welcome cooling sensation. However, now with lunch over and everyone else doing their daily chores he felt lonely and confused. They had been nice enough to leave him a pitcher of water, and a bell that he could ring if he needed anything. As long as someone was near the house they should be able to hear it.

He decided to try to take a nap and ease his heavily conflicted mind. He put the bible under his pillow hoping that the wisdom of god would appeal to him in his sleep.

~[~ (Ragnar's POV)

The next few days passed quickly for Ragnar who was trying to keep up with the extra chores that Athelstan usually completed. He worked quickly to try to make time to help Lagertha take care of the priest who was still in a lot of pain. It was hard for Ragnar to see him that way and not feel a twinge of sympathy for him. Even though he had dealt with the situation afterward to ensure that his friends understood his displeasure with them, he still felt like he needed to do more to atone for what happened. It was obvious to Ragnar and Lagertha that the priest was not taking this lightly, and he was sure that recovery, at least mentally, would be slow.

A few days had passed now and Ragnar's family was all crowded around the table, and he assumed that the priest was asleep. Lagertha and Gyda had brought everything out to the table so they could all enjoy a meal together and it was nice to finally get some time with his family. They had all been so busy preparing for winter that it was hard to find time to spend together.

However, Bjorn was complaining about how he was allowing Athelstan to rest when he should be making him work even harder. His ranting continued and everyone gave him a disapproving look. "Everyone else has to work while he sleeps all day and does nothing. It is not fair to the rest of us. He should be long recovered from a mere beating by now!"

Lagertha interjected at this point scolding him. "You do not know what has transpired and therefore have no right to talk of what the priest should and should not be able to do."

"All he does is sit and stare at his book all day, not even reading it! If he is a servant of his god then why did god not protect him?" Bjorn finished agitatedly.

"I don't know." A small voice was heard behind them and they all turned to see the priest dejectedly leaning on the doorframe. His head was bowed and he looked more fragile than Ragnar had yet to see him, for even on the day they had met he only saw fear, not fragility.

Ragnar decided to try to ease the tension in the room and patted the seat next to him. "Come, join us priest. I am sure you are hungry and there is plenty of food." Athelstan nodded his head and gingerly made his way over to the table. He was obviously trying to hide his pain but Ragnar was a seasoned warrior and trained to pick up on even the subtlest of injuries so he saw the tender movements. When Athelstan finally sat he went about making fixing a plate so that he could be sure that the priest ate enough. He had been eating precious little the last few days and Ragnar did not want him to get sick. His son threw him an irritated glance but he glared back keeping him at bay, and the family finished their food in silence.

~[~ (Athelstan's POV)

Athelstan was watching as the chickens consumed their corn quickly and threw another handful out to the hungry creatures. He was trying to hurry and feed the animals like he used to but his ambition was lacking. It had been a few weeks since the incident occurred and he still had trouble finding his faith. He would pray each night for forgiveness but was met with a hollow feeling instead of relief.

Ragnar and his wife had been very kind to him and told him to take it easy at first, even now they were not being demanding of him. They were also trying to desensitize him to touch since he had been reflexively shying away from it. Though they never said anything they had been overly touchy-feely with him and he stopped pulling away after a while. He sensed that Ragnar felt guilty about what had happened from the way he had babied him at first.

However, despite the comfort that he had felt here it did not fill the hollow space in his chest or wash away the uncomfortable feelings that lingered. He no longer felt like a pure servant of god, but rather a sinner begging for a reprieve with not even a small sign to show that he was heard. He continued to pray and was losing hope and faith, something that had remained strong until recently.

Ragnar entered the barn then and it was just the two of them alone with the animals. He continued to watch the chickens and awaited his master's word. However, Ragnar said nothing and approached him slowly wrapping an arm around his waist and pulling him closer. He wasn't thrilled with the contact but let it pass and tried not to think about the way Ragnar's hand was rubbing his back.

"Feeling better today priest?" The question was asked honestly and he felt unsure what to say as he shuttered from the way the hot breath tickled his neck.

He took a deep breath and looked up toward the ceiling crossing his arms protectively. "Not really, but I do not understand your sympathy." He was beginning to feel tired and couldn't help leaning against his master slightly.

"I want you to understand that I never wanted anything like that to happen to you, and I do care about you. If you don't believe what I say then let me show you." Athelstan was confused at first when Ragnar pushed him up against the barn wall while still holding onto him to support him. However, when he felt a hand pushing at the waistband of his pants he gasped and tried to push away. "Shh… It's alright, I won't hurt you. Put your arms around my neck and relax."

He was terrified but complied out of fear. He did not want to be touched or probed again but he had no right to refuse if that is what Ragnar wanted. He bit his lip and looked into Ragnar's eyes hoping to change his mind before the pain started. He was surprised when Ragnar chuckled and leaned down to kiss his neck as his hand slowly reached down to touch him. He jumped slightly when he felt a hand grasp him and start to stroke since he had never been touched before. It seemed that Ragnar was trying to calm him since he ran his other hand soothing along his back and kept paying tender attention to his neck. It wasn't long before his fear was replaced by pleasure and he allowed the feeling to overtake him.

After he came a short while later Ragnar pulled his hand away and whispered into his ear. "See I want to make sure that you'll enjoy it too, but in the end it's up to you to decide." Then his master pulled away and left as he recovered from what had just happened.

Later after all his chores were finished he was able to sit and think properly about the proposal. He knew what Ragnar was insinuating and not only was it a sin, but he was also afraid. He sat with his hands folded around his knees and attempted to think clearly. He was freezing and he was unsure why since it was not really cold in the house.

Ragnar came in and sat on his bed later as he expected and again put his arm around him as if he were trying to comfort him. "Like I told you earlier, it's your choice and I don't want to pressure you into doing anything. Lagertha and I can show you the positive side of sex and make you understand how good it feels. It won't hurt and I'm sure that you will like it if you are willing to try. I just want you to understand what it should be like, and not be afraid of it because of what happened." Athelstan considered his words for a moment and after some indecision he decided to follow Ragnar into his room.

Lagertha was already there and she smiled gently at him beckoning for him to come over. He went over and sat down apprehensively. Soon however his apprehension faded away and he was exposed to many new feelings that he had never known. It had been slightly painful when Ragnar finally coaxed him into being taken, but it had been enjoyable nonetheless. It was intense for him and after a night with those two he was exhausted. Ragnar had helped him back into his bed so he could get some sleep and even kissed him goodnight. As surprised as he was at the gesture he allowed it and didn't think too much about it.

The next day he sat watching the water from the bank and reflected on what happened. Ragnar and Lagertha had helped him feel at ease now instead of jumpy all the time, yet his first experience was still fresh in his mind. Also, this time he had no excuse since he had wanted to touch and be touched by them, but he prayed for forgiveness anyway. He still felt tainted though, and knew that even if he were to go back to England he could never resume his duties as a priest after everything that had happened. He supposed that he would try to keep his faith, and make what he could of his life here.

~[~

I hope you liked this even if it does sound cruel. Please review and let me know what you think!


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